I FINISHED I FINISHED IT TOOK ME LONG ENOUGH BUT I FINISHED!!!
Just after midnight last night I finally finished this book.
I am totally going to cop-out behind the excuse that November has not been a good month for me and reading. With everything that happened at the beginning of the month I just didn't fell like picking up a book and reading. And then we had Coldplay, the holidays and my birthday. So i'm sorry but November just wasn't a good month for me. However I am going to make up for it with a really kick ass posting
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and a really long one but stick with me it's not that boring)The first 100 pages I was not interested at all in the book. Then just after page 100 I started to pick up the pace and was slightly enjoying it. Then around page 180 I was like good Lord this book is boring and driving me crazy! You do not know how hard it was for me to NOT skip ahead! Then on page 235 when she finally tells August the truth, that was when I got to the point where I found myself reading for hours with out putting it down. I was more interested in Lilly's story and even though I liked May I found the whole section where she died to be really boring and was ready to get back to the real story.
This was yet another book, where the movie totally swayed how I felt toward the characters. Which is strange because I haven't seen the movie yet.
Even though I love Dakota Fanning (who doesn't ) I didn't really feel that attachted to Lilly. But when she started having the hots for Zach, picturing them both todether, I was like "whoa Dakota stop it your 8
" I am so not looking forward to the day she pulls a Drew Barrymore and makes Posion Ivy 6!
I am not a fan of Jennifer Hudson. But I also didn't really like Rosaleen. I have to admitt my first reaction to her pouring the snuff on the guys shoes in the beginning was "ew, and was that really necessary" I felt like it was uncalled for, all they were doing was yelling at her. But at the same time I have never had to face an injustice like that. And I guess if you need to fight back you can't always wait for the other guy to throw the first punch or you might not be able to get up and fight after he does.
I liked August and the sisters, although I HATE Alicia Keys and therefore it took me a long time to come to terms with June and by the end of the book I still don't think I really cared for her all that much. I have only seen Sophia Okonedo in one movie, Martian Child, and she had a very small part. ***sidebar- Martian Child is an awesome movie for any John Cusack fans out there!
The biggest place where the casting of the movie swayed me towards a character was with T. Ray. I just love Paul Bettany
I mean the guy is freaking adorable, so how could T. Ray really be all that bad. I found myself wanting to redeem him. So by the end of the book as soon as August told Lilly how much he had loved her mother and that he all but worshiped her, I was like "see it wasn't his fault. He loved her and she left him. And now he is stuck raising this little girl who looks just like her and reminds him of what he lost. And see he was a good guy once, it wasn't his fault."
Now two pages that I marked in the book were 271 and 289.
271 is where Lilly thinks about the question; if you could have any of the miracles from the Bible happen to you which would you choose? I just thought it was a really interesting question. I would pick the story where a blind man comes up behind Jesus and clutches at his robes. Jesus turns around and asks him what the deepest desire of his heart is and the man replys "to see", Jesus rubs mud into the mans eyes and tells him to go wash it off and when he does he can see.
Then on page 289 I just liked the line where August says "And whatever it is that keeps widening your heart, that's Mary, too, not only the power inside you but the love. And when you get down to it Lilly, that's the only purpose grand enough for a human life. Not just to love- but to
persist in love."
Now for the discussion questions.
1. WEREYOU SURPRISED TO LEARN THAT T. RAY USED TO BE DIFFERENT, THAT HE ONCE TRULY LOVED DEBORAH? HOW DO YOU THINK DEBORAH'S LEAVING AFFECTED HIM? DID IT SHED ANY LIGHT ON WHY T. RAY WAS SO CRUEL AND ABUSIVE TO LILY?
Well I already mentioned that I was releaved to see that once upon a time T. Ray was a good guy.
2. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF KNEELING ON GRITS? WHAT QUALITIES DID LILY HAVE THAT ALLOWED HER TO SURVIVE, ENDURE, AND EVENTUALLY THRIVE, DESPITE T. RAY/
I had never heard of people kneeling on grits and when she first wrote about it I felt compelled to look up grits on the internet thinking surely there had to be some other kind of grit then just the food that she was referring to.
3. WHO IS THE QUEEN BEE?
Queen bee, obviously August. Not only was she the head of the house hold but she stepped in as the mother for Deborah, Lilly, Zach, and even in a way for Rosaleen.
However something else just occured to me now, (12/10) while udating my post for Kate. What if the queen bee was Deborah? In the book they mention that with out the queen bee the other bees in the hive loose their way, their identities, they no-longer have someone to serve. T. Ray lost himself when she left him, Lily grieved a hole that was left inside her when she lost Deborah, May grieved her as well, and even though it wasn't dwelt on it is clear that June and August were probably strongly affected by the loss. Maybe there can't be more than one queen bee in a hive, but among humans there can be dozens. And maybe Deborah was one for Lily and T. Ray. I love the idea of the queen bee not only being a character that we never met, but one that our hero (lily) never really met either.
4. WHAT HAPPENS TO A DAUGHTER WHEN SHE DISCOVERS HER MOTHER ONCE ABANDONED HER? GENERALLY WOULD PEOPLE RATHER DIE THAN FORGIVE? WHAT IS HARDER FOR LILY TO FORGIVE HER MOTHER OR FORGIVE HERSELF?
The relaionship between a mother and a daughter is a very strange one. Especially on the side of the daughter. As I have stated before I am a daddy's girl to the core. My father is an amazing dad but he can be a real prick sometimes. But I have found that even in the times when he can act like a real jackass, it never phazes me. It never tarnishes how I see him. He is my hero and always will be. He would never even have to ask for my forgiveness on anything because it never occurs to me that he would need to be forgiven. However with my mom. She can make one small mistake and I resent her for it. One mistake and it takes weeks to forgive her. One small mistake and she better come begging for me to forgive her. Don't get me wrong, I can see just how unfair that is, now. But when I was in highschool, I hated her. And it took me a long time to realize how much of that was my fault. But who can really explain why girls are so unforgiving of their mother's flaws?
I think it was harder for Lilly to forgive herself. At the point in her life that we shared with her, she was mainly grieving the realization that her mother had left her and yes that was hard. But I think a lot of the self doubt in those instences where she saw herself as unlovable was because of the blame she put on herself.
I do think it is hard to forgive. But I would like to believe that more often than you would think that people do
want to forgive.
5. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A MOTHER FIGURE IN YOUR LIFE WHO WASN'T YOUR TRUE MOTHER? HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO LEAVE HOME TO FIND A HOME?
The only person in my life who took care of me like a mother other than my actual mother was my grandmother. But there wasn't really anyone outside my family. However when I was in highscool and just after, I found my home with my friends more than with my actual family members. But I do have a good family even if we don't always get along. So I have never had to go too far.
6. WHAT COMPEDLLED ROSALEEN TO SPIT ON THE THREE MEN'S SHOES? WHAT DOES IT TAKE FOR A PERSON TO STAND UP WITH CONVICTION AGAINST BRUTALIZING INJUSTICE? WHAT DID YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT ROSALEEN?
Well, like I said I didn't really like Rosaleen but I can't say how much of that was brought on by the Huddson factor. And also like I said I have never been in the position to be forced to standing up for a conviction. I would like to think that if I would ever need to I would, but in all honesty I don't have a very strong personality. I am not much of a fighter.
7. HAD YOU EVER HEARD OF THE BLACK MADONNA? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE STORY SURROUNDING THE BLACK MADONNA IN THE NOVEL? HOW WOULD THTE STORY BE DIFFERENT IF IT HAD BEEN A PICTURE OF A WHITE VIRGIN MARY? DO YOU KNOW WOMEN WHOSE LIVES HAVE BEEN DEEPENED OF ENRICHED TO AN EMPOWERING DIVINE MOTHER?
I really appreciated the use of certain Catholic beliefs in the book. I liked that they took the parts that they understood and made it their own. I have heard of a Black Madonna and I actually prefer the picuters of Jesus and Mary that depict them with darker skin. I mean because if you look at a map, odds are they weren't pale white with where they were coming from. Now, I was not raised in a religious home and deffinatly not a Catholic one. I didn't start studing it until I was much older. It is hard to register how much my life has been "enriched" by putting more importance in Mary then before. But I can say that since I started studing Catholisim and then later when I was confirmed, I have always been grateful to embrace that side of my faith. I love praying the rosary and celebrating all of Mary's different Holy Days. I don't fully understand her story but again, I am very grateful for her.
8. WHY IS IT IMPORTANT THAT WOMEN COME TOGETHER? WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE CALENDER SISTERS AND THE DAUGHTERS OF MARY? HOW DID BEING IN THE COMPANY OF THIS CIRCLE OF FEMALES TRANSFORM LILY?
The reason I think a group of women is so empowering is because that is where women can be the most vulnerable. It is hard to be vulnerable around guys. Now some girls can have a guy friend that is just a friend that they can be utterly and completly vulnerable with, letting down all the guards and walls, but that is rare. It is easier to have that kind of relationship with other women. And when you can find that core group of women that you can open up to, it is there that you can also draw upon the most strength.
9. MAY BUILT THE WAILING WALL TO HELP HER COME TO TERMS WITH THE PAIN SHE FELT. EVEN THOUGH WE DON'T HAVE MAY'S CONDITION, DO WE ALSO NEED RITUALS TO HELP US DEAL WITH OUR GRIEF AND SUFFERING?
I like the idea of having a whailing wall, but at the same time wouldn't it also serve as a reminder. About 6 years ago I started a habbit of writing down things I was frustrated about or angry about and then I would drop them into a box, and then put the box in the very back of my closet. I think that was a long the same kind of line as to what May was doing. Of course I didn't use my box as frequantly as she went to the wall. And I also fell out of practise of using the box and I don't even think I have it anymore.
10. HOW DID YOU DESCRIBE ZACH AND LILY'S RELATIONSHIP? WHAT DREW THEM TOGETHER? DID YOU ROOT FOR THEM TO BE TOGETHER?
I will always root for a love story no matter how small it is. But I didn't really see anything that brought Lilly and Zack together other then, he was hot and she needed a friend.
11. PROJECT THE FUTURE. DOES LILY EVER SEE HER FATHER AGAIN? DOES SHE BECOME A BEE KEEPER? A WRITER? WHAT HAPPENS TO ROSALEEN? WHAT HAPPENS TO ZACH AND LILY? WHO WOULD ZACH BE TODAY?
THE FUTURE. Lilly stays with August until she goes off to college. Coming back to visit during breaks and helps with the bees in the summer. But later she does become a writer. I don't see her and Zach actually ending up together. But he does become a lawyer and makes a pretty good name for himself, gets married and has 2 kids. After Lilly graduates college she goes home to visit T. Ray and show him her diploma. Later she ends up getting married to one of the publishers that works at the company that publishes her books, they meet at some small party the publishing house throws for Lilly's upcoming release. All the while she goes home to visit T. Ray once a year, in early May while she is on her way to see August. She invites him to her wedding but doesn't ask him to walk her down the aisle. She gets married in a small outdoor ceromony at August's house. Zach is there with his fiance (they aren't married just yet) and so are all of the Daughert's of Mary. and Rosaleen who has continued to stay with August. Lilly ends up having one daughter. She continues to visit T. Ray and as he gets older she begins to make her visits to him more than just once a year. She brings him picuters of her daughter but holds off on an actual introduciton. Then when he is just but a few short years from death (lung cancer) she does bring her daughter (who is either named May or July) to meet him.
You see I do think there was a part of Lilly that yearned for him to love her. So once she starts to make a life for herself I can see her wanting to go back and show him how good she turned out. Then as he gets older that is when she finally forgives him.
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Subject: The Secret Life Of Bees 
Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:08 pm
!!! Breakfast with my mom and sisters, running errands the middle of the day, spending the afternoon with my aunt and cousin and in the evening TWILIGHT and then everyone will be invited back to my place for cake!
oh no wait I have a better face hold on... 
there that is me rolling my eyes at you saying that that is a crap question!! 